19: Escape from Ubersreik

After a fitful night of confused visions and strange dreams I got up early, left my robes in my cell, grabbed an old tunic and Gutele’s purse, and left the temple, hoping I’d be able to catch everyone else at the south gate. So, I did find them all there, and thought people might remark that I was no longer wearing Shallyan robes, but Gulgad had changed his appearance a lot more than that. He had had his hair shaved on the sides of his head, and then spiked the rest of it up, with tallow or something. That would have been bizarre enough, but he’d also had it dyed bright orange! We knew it was something to do with some sort of Dwarven ritual of atonement, or something, but we were all too polite, or scared, to ask about it.

Erhardt explained that he had left letters for Captain Pfeffer telling her where to find Boniel’s body, although I hadn’t really noticed him there, for some reason, until he spoke. Gulgad’s plan was to take the southern road out of town and avoid the main route to Altdorf. He reasoned that anyone knowing we were off to Altdorf would assume we would exit by the north gate and take the direct route along the Teufel.

We had the notion to wave down passing coaches but once we were on the road that didn’t seem like the best plan, so we decided to follow the path along the Grey Lady Canal and see if anyone wanted us to work on their canal boat. This was a popular and effective way of getting around, although it helped if you knew one end of a boat from the other, and none of us did.

We got Kurtis to do his thing and pretty soon he had talked a boatman into letting us aboard, although we had to pay him five shilling each from the privilege, and he was only going our way for about a day’s travel. Still, his half-full tea cargo gave us plenty of room and canal travel seemed so easy that he didn’t require any of us to help out. We thought he might offer us a cup of tea, seeing his boat was full of the stuff but no such luck. Actually, the boat journey was much more pleasant and peaceful than I thought it might be, and I decided this might be the best way to travel, much better than a coach if you’re going somewhere near a river.

On the boat, I decided to tell everyone that I had left the cult of Shallya and I wasn’t a monk anymore. I told them I didn’t think that there was any hope of building my orphanage, now, and so they may as well all take their share of the orphanage money. To be fair, putting aside the orphans for a moment, it felt great to be rich. Kurtis asked whether I had left the cult for good, and I had to admit I didn’t know.

Come nightfall, the boatman offered us the chance to spend the night at a canal-side inn, but wary of potential pursuers from Ubersreik, we thought it best to lie low on the boat. We made sure to keep watch and we all took turns. My watch period may have been slightly shorter than everyone else’s but that was because despite the improving state of my Ratte Fever, after Father Gunther’s cure, I was still feeling some of the effects, so needed more rest than everyone else.

The boatman lent Kurtis his rod and he caught a fish for breakfast. We progressed well that morning and were soon at the end of the canal, and while the tea merchant was heading south, we needed to turn north. We decided that another five shillings each for a day’s travel would soon eat into our new-found wealth, and looking at the prices of things along the route, we weren’t as wealthy as we thought we were.

There was some sort of trading post where the canal met the River Tranig and we managed to stock up on a few days’ supplies for everyone. Erhardt took control of the supplies and established a party pool for funding such purchases, because presumably, only wizards are clever enough to add up. We also heard rumours of a Halfling thief about, which might have just been local prejudice, but we all made sure to keep our purses close.

Otto was very pleased to buy a length of rope with which he made a lead for Schnitzel. It takes a simple soul for ones lifetime goal to be the acquisition of piece of string. But then Otto is a simple soul. He also commissioned a local farrier to make some sort of metal handle for the tusk he had got from the wild boar, which he proudly waved around like it was a Runefang.

So Otto had scuppered our quick escape from the area by deciding that he had to wait all day to get his stupid tusk set in a stupid handle. So pleased with his tusk was Otto that he awarded his old sword to Kurtis in reward for killing Boniel von Bruner. Some people are sick.

We decided that we needed to be from somewhere other than Ubersreik just to make us a little trickier to trace if, as Kurtis kept telling us, the von Bruners had a party of assassins on our trail. Solvej went about telling everyone she was Greta from Stimmigen (a nearby town), which was a very cunning ruse for someone with such a broad Nordlander accent, although to be fair to her, she probably had no idea where Stimmigen was, and even if she did, she wouldn’t be able to find it.

Once Otto had got his tusk back Kurtis managed to find us a boat heading to Stromdorf, which was exactly where we wanted to go. We figured changing boats every few days would also make us harder to follow, and Stromdorf was a few days away but not too far. The boat belonged to Hildon and Hilda who were off to get grain at Stromdorf and was currently empty. They didn’t want any payment at all. Not having anyone try to rip us off for once began to make me, and everyone else, feel a bit nervous.

Just before nightfall we pulled into the jetty beside the large inn, the Three Feathers. This looked a bit classier than we might want, but Hildon said it might be good to live it up a bit. Meanwhile he would stay on the boat with his wife as they couldn’t afford to stay there. (Maybe they should have charged us for the lift, then!) The bank beside the Three Feathers was a hive of activity, and the landlord who greeted us told us that they had a noble visitor that evening, and it was a great honour for them. It was the Gravin Maria-Ulrike von Liebwitz. I didn’t know much about her, but knew she was the niece of Countess Emmanuelle of Nuln, the richest and most beautiful woman in the Empire, they say.

Honestly, the way some people fawn about their betters, and I use that word sarcastically, makes me wonder if they want to be downtrodden all their lives. We had already had first-hand experience that the nobles were a breed unto themselves, and not in a good way. I wondered what sort of psychological flaw this gravin would turn out to have.

Anyway we managed to get some rooms at the inn, so they couldn’t have been that busy or the lady’s entourage so huge. I had to room with Solvej, even though she’s not very interesting, it was the only decent way to do it. Otto and Kurtis roomed together, and I didn’t know which of them to feel sorry for most, although Kurtis insisted he wouldn’t be needing his bed that night. And Erhardt and Gulgad roomed together. I expected they would stay up late talking to each other in Khazalid, probably. ‘Oh, look at us, we’re so clever, we can speak a different language!’

The inn lounge was not so busy, considering all the minions the gravin had brought with her. They were probably hard at work. It had a clock in though, bizarrely, so we could all keep track of the time, which seemed a pretty pointless pursuit. Either it’s morning, or night, or evening, or day. The landlord said the clock was worth more than the entire inn. There was a table occupied by the gravin’s guards who were having fun arm wrestling, and losing, to a huge bloke called Bruno. He looked like the sort of person who would split you in two for looking at him funny, but Solvej thought he had kind eyes. On another table, a halfling woman was doing card tricks and offering to play Scarlett Empress for a shilling a go.

Then three scholarly looking scholars turned up and took a table. They kept themselves to themselves all evening. And the gravin made an appearance. And Kurtis’ jaw hit the floor. I’m not saying she was unattractive, but she wasn’t as hot as Kurtis seemed to think she was. And after the trouble he had got us all in with the last noble lady he fancied, you would think he had learned a lesson, but you could tell he was smitten, and it could only mean trouble.

After chatting to the guards, he hatched a plan (and I’m only guessing) to talk to the gravin’s personal harp player, borrow an instrument from her, and attract the gravin’s attention by singing one of his Sigmar-awful songs to her. What could possibly go wrong?

The gravin shook hands with the halfling before she left. That felt a bit odd, so Solvej went over to talk to her. She offered to play Scarlet Empress and so Solvej did, losing a couple of shillings. She managed to learn that the halfling was called Seedling, and that the gravin liked a bit of entertainment and so she had roped Seedling in to do some card tricks.

A bit later, an odd-looking fellow entered the lounge and joined Seedling. He looked a bit like a halfling but didn’t have the feet or maybe a bit like a dwarf but didn’t have the physique. Apparently, the man was a gnome. I was under the impression that gnomes weren’t real, but I tried not to stare. In any case they didn’t seem that different to a Halfling, and a bit unnecessary. His name, it turned out, was Glimbrin.

Otto had a chat with Hilda and Hildon and he was so concerned that they had to sleep on the boat after giving us a free ride that he decided to pay for a room for them for the evening. Then he decided that he had to have a go at arm wrestling big Bruno. It was no contest, really, and he nearly damaged his hand. Although the old Gulgad would have been straight into such a contest, the new one would clearly rather avoid such a frivolous game, but seeing Otto defeated like that, he stepped forward and challenged Bruno. And Gulgad beat him almost as easily as Bruno had beaten Otto. I winced, expecting some bad blood and maybe a fight to break out, but Bruno took it all in good spirit and offered to buy Gulgad, Otto, and Kurtis a beer. Erhardt sat in the corner with me, watching things, strangely beneath notice.

I wasn’t paying much attention to it, but I think the next event is quite significant, although I’m not sure how or why. Bruno’s round of drinks was brought, I do not recall who by, but we later decided it was a young woman, and for some reason, there were a number of odd-coloured mugs. Everyone grabbed a mug and drank. Otto almost immediately seemed to fall ill. I noticed this and went to help him up to his room. Everyone else just carried on their evening’s entertainment. That’s why I’m a Shallyan, I suppose. If I am still a Shallyan.

Otto was looking very ill indeed and looked like he had been poisoned. Although I’m no longer in the cult and in two minds about whether she really cares about me at all, I prayed to Shallya to take Otto’s poison away, and I think it did some good. Although there was no sign of the poison, I had been reading up on herbiary at the temple over the last few days and I suddenly remembered about Heartkill, which is a rare and expensive poison. It is apparently made with the venom of the Amphisbaena and the Jabberslythe which sounds like fanciful nonsense as both those creatures don’t exist. But however they make it, I realised that could be the poison used. Otto puked his guts up all over the floor and over my feet, but that was probably a good thing and he said he felt much better.

Otto then ate some of his weirdroot to help with the aftereffects of the poison, which, if I were a doctor, is probably not what I would have prescribed. Otto didn’t want me to leave and so I stayed with him, but from what I can gather, Kurtis managed to get past the guards and have a chat with Genevieve, the gravin’s harpist, and arrange to do some sort of performance. Someone came and got Bruno and made him go to bed.

An older, smartly dressed, red-robed, gent came down to the bar. He was Gustaf Rechtshandler, part of the gravin’s retinue, her legal advisor. Solvej struck up a conversation with him and he told her that the gravin was on her way to Kemperbad where she faced trial for murder. The father of the current Baron Dammenblatz had died in mysterious circumstances in Nuln and his son blamed the gravin for the murder. Gustaf’s strategy was to go for trial by combat where Bruno would fight on behalf of the gravin. Presumably they’d made Bruno go to bed early so he could stay fighting fit for the judicial challenge.

Then a representative of the gravin came down and made everyone in her party go to bed.