A Confession

Nå, men hvor begynder jeg?

We were investigating the cult that we believed was after Gustav. As guards of the gravin I think it was our duty to ensure that no harm should come to her, or her reputation, as a result of their association and his past. She was, after all, the hand that fed us and gave us a place amongst the nobles - somewhere I never thought I’d be - and I wasn’t planning on leaving.

There were owls in the bog, and I wanted to know what was going on, but Gustav was always a private man and kept his secrets close, despite Otto’s charm. This is something I admire but cannot seem to do and thus this is my confession. But then I must ask, what is a confession without guilt or remorse? The old Solvej may have felt it, but she changed escaping Salzenmund and during the long road to Ubersreik and I believe now a new Solvej has been born. I feel so far from the forests now, in the forest there are no secrets, only survival.

Though I can’t read, I knew Gustav kept a diary which I thought would contain more information so we could uncover the cult and he would be indebted to us, currying further favour with the gravin. All I needed was a solid plan.

Since becoming judicial champion, Kurtis has become a proper - I believe the Reikspiel term for it is - ‘shit.’ He’s praised by the gravin for the things WE do and receiving all the credit and status has gone to his already big head. I don’t understand why she doesn’t think more of me, I’m the brains of this group, I make things happen, but Kurtis comes along and flashes his smile, and no one appreciates me. I think if I dressed better, and maybe put on the makeup that other girls do, I’ll be noticed and people will finally really see me.

Back to Kurtis, he fancies literally anyone with a pulse, but himself the most, and even then, I think if the right corpse came along, he’d try and flirt with that too! But he had set his eyes on sweet Genevieve, and they got engaged. Now if this was anyone else but Kurtis I wouldn’t have cared, but at this point Kurtis’ success was directly connected to mine and our group and I couldn’t risk him losing focus and settling down. She would have held him back and got in the way, as I’m saying this it sounds like I’m jealous, but I’m not, I swear it.

It was easy. I left the inn to hide from Ursula’s advances in the boat and saw my opportunity. I took the diary from Gustav’s cabin and took some jewels from the gravin’s bedroom. When I re-entered the inn, I planted the jewels on Genevieve, and later I planted a couple of pages from the diary on our new ‘friend’ Gregor, who conveniently arrived and intended to stay. Perfect place, perfect time, perfect crime.

The stolen items were found out by the morning and, tusinde tak til Taal, I had stashed the book earlier on the boat and so when I was searched nothing was found. However, the Jewels were found on poor sweet plain Gen who took the fall. It was almost too good, the gravin previously had a handmaiden betray her and so it was not farfetched that Gen would do the same, being so embarrassed that Kurtis had not given a ring to announce their engagement, that she had to source one herself. And at this moment, I can’t explain it, but it felt that all the stress and tension in my body that had been building up, just melted away.

What will the others think of me? I saw the looks in the eyes of the others when I poisoned the boatmen to give us transport, and when I tried to save the doomed lovers from the Von Liebwitz wedding. It wasn’t my fault the man was an idiot who didn’t know an opportunity when he saw one, and his appetite for talking. Luckily Manfred had a bigger appetite than him.

Kurtis should thank me really, it turned out Gen was just a passing fancy, and he lost interest in his ‘beloved’ over a couple of weeks as she rotted in jail. If he were to ever find this out, I’d be worried, and his behaviour has become more erratic and less easy to predict over the last few weeks. I would rather she had been executed, as dead people keep the best secrets, but locked away is second best.

Erhardt has been helping me read the diaries, I have been practicing with the Fishrook with Lukas’ help but for all the words there seemed to be an awful lot of blanks according to him, so I didn’t learn as much as I thought I would at this point. Luckily Erhardt seems the type to keep a secret and likely has many of his own - if that even is his real name!

I think Lukas would be disappointed though, which is sad but I hope he understands that I did this for our group, for our success, and for his orphanage.

Gulgad, I don’t think he likes the way I go about things, but what he doesn’t understand is that if you’re not chained by honour, and if you don’t have the muscle, success must be gained through guile.

And Otto, I’m unsure of what Otto thinks, if he thinks at all. I think he’s spent so much time with rats that he thinks like one: food, shelter, breeding, and fear. I’ve seen the fear in his face when he looks at me sometimes, but I try not to take it personally. If he could comprehend the lengths I go to for this group I think he’d actually be grateful.

Solvej Vestergaard