51: Drinking like a Fish

There is a famous Shallyan parable called the Parable of the Fish. There was once a fisherman who was fishing in the river with his net. It had been a long day and he had not caught anything. So he prayed to Shallya that he might catch a fish soon for his family’s supper.

And sure enough in a few moments a huge shoal of fish swam by and the fisherman threw out his net and soon the net was full of fish. Plenty for his family, and plenty to sell in the market for days to come.

But the fisherman could see that there were lots more fish in the river, so he let out more net to catch more of the fish. And soon they were caught, and his net was bulging, and he had more fish than he could eat or sell. And so, the fisherman let out more net, and this too was filled.

But when the fisherman tried to pull in his net, he found that there were so many fish in it, he was not strong enough. And all the fish went to waste.

Kurtis wanted us to check out his other place, the Bergman farm, to see if similar stuff was going on. I’m not sure why the world has to revolve around him, but it seems to. We agreed we would check in at other farms along the way, to see if these rats had been around those places, too, because I had seen in my dreams, for what they are worth, that a number of other farms were affected.

As we walked, the sky brightened a bit, and I felt the winter sun stinging my eyes. Kurtis and Solvej were rubbing their eyes a bit, so I wondered whether they had what I had.

Kurtis only had a vague idea of where his other farm was, but Solvej had spoken to the people at the Newstead farm enough to be able to work out how to find it. The journey was going to take at least all day. Apparently, all Kurtis’ information about his farms had come from an investigator, called Konrad something, who he had hired to find out about his family and get to the bottom of his inheritance.

As we walked along, I was getting a bit concerned about Otto again. Ursula definitely had her eye on him and was trying to recruit him to be her little minion, or something. Otto told her that she was the best witch hunter he had ever met, and in reply Ursula told Otto that he was a rat catcher that she had met, which made him feel special. He decided he needed to get six more rats into his jar to get the paid by his guild and so was looking forward to finding some at Kurtis’ other farm.

We managed to find a decent place to cross the River Talabec and Solvej gave some local fishermen a few coins to row us across and we got directions from them to the nearest coaching inn. The fishermen told us they had heard rumours of people going missing and that there were bandits in the forest. Otto bought some fish from them, which was a good idea, at the time, one for each of us. And, as we crossed, I told everyone the Parable of the Fish to cheer us up. I think they like my parables, even though they don’t understand them, or pay any attention to them.

Then we headed for the Travellers’ Rest inn, which was close enough to the Bergman farm. Kurtis was telling Solvej about how she would be manager of both farms which she seemed excited about, and it might have even been true. Then Ursula asked Solvej for a job, and Solvej said she would discuss it when Kurtis wasn’t there. I wondered how they would be paid. I feel like the financing isn’t entirely in place at Kurtis’ new venture. Solvej paid for the ferry trip and Otto paid for the fish. It made you wonder how much money Kurtis actually had.

We passed a farmstead on the way and decided to check the place out. Solvej and Ursula spoke to the farmers, but I think they weren’t that keen to talk back. They were on the defensive and were worried about bandits or something. They said they were friendly enough with the Bergman farm but hadn’t seen or heard from them since before Mondstille, a good few weeks ago. They also said there were bandits roaming the woods but said as there were six of us we might be alright as it was mostly lone travellers going missing. Solvej asked about the grain at their farm, but they explained they mostly grew hops for brewing. In any case, Solvej told them to look out for large rats.

I took the opportunity of Ursula not being there to tell Otto to be a bit more judicious in regard to Sigmarite theology, and I think he understood me. And I said something about Kurtis’ farms being a bit of a curse, so Kurtis told me to tell the Parable of the Jealous Priest, I was about to tell him there wasn’t one, but then realised that he was talking about me. Which was a bit rich coming from Kurtis. We had just helped sort out Kurtis’ first farm and now on the way to see about his second, and he had a house in Altdorf. The trouble with Kurtis is he is just like the fisherman in the Parable of the Fish. I should have thought of that at the time, and said it, but I didn’t. I just flounced off.

So we found the north road and asked some roadwardens how far it was to the travellers rest. They said a couple of hours. But it took us more than three hours to get there, because they were talking about riding time. And when we got there everyone said we needed to stop at the inn. We didn’t want to be stumbling through a strange forest in the dark. But I hadn’t even noticed it was growing dark. For me, apart from things looking a bit greyer, I could see perfectly well. I could see in the dark, just like the farmers with green eyes said they could, and just like Tina said she could. I resolved not to let Ursula get any sign of this. She would undoubtedly interpret it as a gift of the dark gods, and that would be that.

So we went into the Travellers’ Rest. Kurtis led the way and did that thing that he does when he’s on stage and makes it so that everyone has to pay attention to him. Then he got the landlord to open a tab and ordered everyone drinks. Apparently, his brother had kept the tab at the Travellers’ up to date so the landlord was happy to give Kurtis whatever he wanted.

We all had a beer, but Ursula ordered a brandy. We had had most of our beer when Solvej suggested that they put grain in beer and thinking of the grain that had caused the problems at the Newstead farm, we weren’t sure about finishing them. Erhardt was already there and had changed his beer into a mug of pure water.

I wasn’t sure about beer or grain, but as Ursula had a brandy, I wanted one anyway, so I got one for me and one for Solvej, when Kurtis wasn’t looking. But I think Kurtis soon realised that his effort to keep us a bit careful in our spending was doomed, and so he ordered a couple of bottles of brandy. I don’t know much about economics, but I felt like the income from his farm wouldn’t cover us drinking brandy at the local every night. And as far as I knew, there wasn’t any income from the farm in any case.

Then we all ordered the evening meal, and realised we had all been carrying our fish with us all day. It felt like they were getting a bit old, and with the inn’s soup looking good, we all threw our fish to Schnitzel, but he didn’t seem to mind. Otto got the landlord to cook him up his fish, though.

It made me think that maybe all of us were the fisherman in the Parable of the Fish. Apart from Otto who, according to him and his misunderstanding of Shallyan theology, was a moonbeam. I don’t think Shallya wants us to be the fisherman in the Parable of the Fish. I think that’s what the parable is about. Have a couple of beers on the tab (that I don’t think Kurtis has any intention of paying) but don’t catch a load of fish you can’t even eat and wash it down with loads of stolen brandy.

Anyway, Kurtis had drunk far too much and ordered a room for himself and places in the common room for the rest of us. Then he demanded a lute from the landlord and put on a performance. It wasn’t bad but he did the Ballad of Gulgad really fast and sort of shouted. Not sure what sort of music you’d call it, but it sounded like someone just hitting rocks together. And then he took his shirt off.

Otto was getting a bit drunk, too, and wondered why he couldn’t have Aunt Clara, Kurtis’ wife, to deliver the drinks to us. He seemed to think Kurtis had a magic bell that if he ever rang, she would turn up to ask him what he wanted. Fortunately, Kurtis didn’t have the bell with him. Then Otto started insulting Solvej. He's not a very good drunk. I think the Parable of the Fish has something to say about that, too.

Otto wanted to know how old Solvej was and why she wasn’t married yet, but not as pleasantly as that. And Solvej, who is twenty-five (she looks more like thirty, to be honest) told us about the tradition in Nordland that if a woman gets to that age without getting married they tie her to a tree and cover her in cinnamon, or something. I think they should probably keep that to Nordland. I can see that someone might one day want to marry Solvej, but not if she was covered in Cinnamon.

Kurtis was a bit out of control by now, and Otto and I carried him up to bed, and then I think Otto couldn’t resist the big bed and decided to spend the night on it with Kurtis. I went down and slept with everyone else in the common room.

Kurtis was obviously hung over in the morning, and a shadow of his previous night’s performance, but we still all stocked up on a full Reiklander breakfast and the landlord seemed to think he wouldn’t need to be paid until the end of the month. He told us about the bandits in the forest. We mentioned we were heading off to the Bergman farm and he told us that he knew the people there but had not heard from them since before Mondstille.

After a couple of hours travel, we found the place, and as we had feared, there was no smoke coming from the chimneys. Solvej went to investigate but insisted Otto come with her, which he did, but I could see the fear in his face, and I don’t think it was just the fear of what they might find at the farm.

They could see that the front gate had been smashed down from the outside by what must have been a huge beast or something like that, and a lot of the structure around the courtyard had been badly damaged. Otto was convinced that they were after a giant rat. But Solvej said even a horse wouldn’t have been strong enough to do that.

They could see that the courtyard was a complete wreck and strewn with dead animals and stinking of death. Otto was frightened but Solvej pulled him along and they made their way towards the farmhouse. We followed, a distance behind, and as I entered through the gates I had a sudden vision of dark figures and horrific violence and I knew what we would find was going to be terrible. And so I quickly called to Solvej and Otto and the rest of them to come back. But it was too late, Solvej had already looked into the farm and saw a load of bodies hanging from the ceiling, some from their entrails, mutilated and dismembered. Ursula took a look, too, and recognised that strange runes and sigils had been cut into the flesh of the dead.

And then, we all had to look. Kurtis was worried about the viability of his farm, but Erhardt, Ursula, and I were thinking about the symbols on the bodies. They were similar to the ones we had seen in the club for fighting, but not the same. And I had been researching that earlier, and I could tell that these were not symbols of the dark god S_______. But I expect they were just as bad.

Erhardt gazed at them, and I could tell he was using his magical whatnot. As we had talked about the various colours of magic and the magic I had seen in my dreams at the other farm, I asked him if it was that murky green-brown magic colour. And he nodded. Otto checked the bodies for signs of rats and he was satisfied that this had not been done by a giant rat.

Kurtis ordered us to cut the bodies down and wondered aloud why it was his farms that always seemed to suffer. Ursula was wondering the same thing. We could see that whatever had done this had smashed through the north wall of the farmhouse and disappeared into the forest. I feared we might have to follow them.

But before that we made a bonfire of the entire place and burned it to the ground. I could see that Kurtis didn’t want to, but he had little choice, and there was no way he was going to get this farm up and running again. I don’t know much about death rites, but I did my best to say a prayer and send them on their way to Morr’s realm. And Otto said he hoped that they would turn into Shallyan moonbeams.

So, we just stood there, on the edge of the forest, watching the huge fire as it engulfed the farm and took everything with it. Kurtis was the most upset of us, but it seemed to me that he was not upset about all the dead farmers and the awful way they must have suffered, and the profane symbols upon their bodies, and whatever horror waited for us in the forest. He was upset about the money he was losing. He gets into money for the first time in his life, and then gets upset that he doesn’t have even more. He really is that fisherman.